- Romance fraud is a term for the act of tricking someone into a romantic relationship online to extort money from them, often using dating apps or chat rooms
- Episode four uncovers how fraudsters manipulate victims using the power of language
- It highlights the ‘sunk cost fallacy’, a psychological trap where victims continue sending money in hopes of salvaging their investment - both financially and emotionally.
Romance fraud is often dismissed as a case of gullible victims being “duped” out of money, but in the latest episode of Writing Wrongs, forensic linguist and criminologist Dr Elisabeth Carter shatters this misconception. Instead, she reveals how these scams are a form of psychological abuse, where victims are carefully groomed through manipulative language techniques.
Episode four, Romance Fraud: The Linguistic Crime Scene, is hosted by Professor Tim Grant and Dr Nicci MacLeod, and provides an eye-opening look at the devastating reality of romance fraud. Dr Carter, a leading expert in fraud and deception at Kingston University, breaks down the linguistic strategies that fraudsters use to build trust, create emotional dependency and extract money, without ever raising suspicion.
Romance fraud is one of the UK’s fastest-growing scams, with over 8,000 reports in 2024 alone, totalling £99.4 million in losses. Yet these numbers barely scratch the surface, as only 13% of fraud cases are reported, largely due to shame and stigma.
This episode follows the tragic case of ‘Roger’ (not his real name), a victim of romance fraud, who was manipulated by a scammer posing as a military officer, ‘Camilla’. Through Dr Elisabeth Carter’s forensic linguistic analysis, the conversation between victim and fraudster reveals a chilling pattern of psychological control.
Dr Carter explains the ‘drip-feed’ technique, where fraudsters subtly introduce financial requests, so victims offer money willingly and the ‘shame cycle’, which traps victims into blaming themselves and continuing payments.
The discussion also exposes ‘manipulative mirroring’, where scammers reflect the victim’s experiences to build trust. As the scam escalates, withdrawal and punishment tactics - delayed replies, emotional distancing and guilt-tripping - make victims feel responsible. Fraudsters also sever external support, isolating victims from friends, family or banks.
Speaking on Writing Wrongs, Dr Carter said:
“The chat logs from a romance fraud are what I would term a ‘linguistic crime scene’.
“Through close reading of how these conversations unfold we can unpick exactly how fraudsters build the trust of their targets and carry off this most upsetting and damaging of offences.
“This isn’t about victims being naïve - it’s about fraudsters being skilled. Romance fraud works because it’s built on the same psychological techniques as coercive control and grooming. Victims blame themselves, but the reality is that these scams are meticulously designed to stop alarm bells from ringing.
“This is textbook grooming. Victims aren’t just being deceived - they’re being emotionally controlled. And like coercive control in domestic abuse, they often don’t realise it’s happening until it’s too late.
Dr Nicci MacLeod, deputy director of the Aston Institute for Forensic Linguistics, said:
“It was wonderful to have Dr Elisabeth Carter on to explain how language itself becomes the scammer’s most powerful tool.
“The episode also highlights the ‘sunk cost fallacy’, a psychological trap where victims continue sending money in hopes of salvaging their investment, both financially and emotionally. Fraudsters exploit the idea of ‘one final payment’ - a last hurdle before happiness. But that last hurdle never ends.”
Professor Tim Grant said:
“This case shows the importance of linguistics in not only shaping the justice system but equipping would-be victims to spot the signs of romance fraud.
“Analysis of this type is a really great example of how we can improve the delivery of justice through the analysis of language.”
Writing Wrongs is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and all major streaming platforms.
Listeners are encouraged to subscribe, share and engage with the hosts by submitting their forensic linguistics questions. Whether it’s about this case or broader forensic linguistic techniques, Professor Grant and Dr MacLeod welcome enquiries from listeners.
- Notes to Editors
About Aston University
For over 130 years, Aston University has been making our world a better place through education, research and innovation. Our history is intertwined with the remarkable city of Birmingham, once the heartland of the Industrial Revolution and now the thriving base for an innovation ecosystem of global significance, which Aston is co-creating.
Our vision is to be a leading university for science, technology and enterprise, measured by the positive transformational impact we achieve for our people, students, businesses and the communities we serve.
Aston focuses on high-quality, exploitable research that has an impact on society through medical breakthroughs, advancements in engineering, policy and practice in government, and the strategies and performance of business.
The university offers a range of undergraduate and postgraduate degree programmes, as well as continuing professional development solutions.
Thanks to its focus on delivering excellent outcomes for students, Aston University's reputation continues to grow. It was recognised as the Daily Mail University of the Year for Student Success 2025, is 2nd in England for social mobility (2023 HEPI Social Mobility Index), and is top 20 for graduate salaries (2024 Longitudinal Education Outcomes).
Aston University is now defining its place in the Fourth Industrial Revolution (and beyond) within a rapidly changing world.
For media inquiries in relation to this release, contact Sam Cook, Press and Communications Manager, on (+44) 7446 910063 or email: s.cook2@aston.ac.uk
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